Good

What does good means to you? What exactly is morally right? Who is to judge?

My whole life, I have been obsessed with being on the good side and avoid being on the bad one. I always do what’s right and good for others too much that I often find myself doing tasks that people don’t want to take on.

Especially in my last relationship. I wanted to be good to my partner so I gave in to all the demands. I gave everything that I had and more just to make her happy. When the relationship ended, I realised how little I respected myself. The relationship should have been we, not just her.

Until one day, I read on the book that said “be good to yourself first, then to others”

That one sentence makes me open my eyes. I realised that the person that I treated the worst in the whole world was the person that I needed to spend my whole life with. Myself.

It hits me that I have been a people pleaser my whole life. To my family, to my friends and to all of my ex partners.

Growing up, as a eldest daughter of the single mom, I have learnt to be considerate and not cause problem. The daughter that grow up very independently without causing much financial burden or mental stress.

I have learnt to bottle up all my bad emotions that now, i realised, I have a lot of healing left to do.

Suppressing the feelings by never talking out with anyone else because I didn’t want to burden them with my problems. Avoiding all my emotional scars by always finding someone new to please.

I have decided to focus more on what I want and listen to my inner voice. Because if doing particular thing is being bad to others then why am I doing it to myself?

After all, only when you are feeling good about yourself, you can see the world in the positive light. Only when you are in good shape, you are able to lend your hand to people in need. Even in plane, you are supposed to put your own oxygen mask before you help others.

If someone leaves just because I didn’t give in to one of their demands, let them. If a relationship strained because of the self sacrifice that I didn’t made, let it.

All of us have the responsibility of being good to ourselves too.