Loving someone. That is something I can’t do ever since the first guy that I liked.

Move on. I always thought I definitely move on. But why can’t I fall for any one? May be I hate the idea of loving someone. Or I am too scare to fall for someone who doesn’t feel the same way as me. Or may be  I am just too afraid to be the one getting hurt.

20 year old. Only fall in love once and never dated any one before. Does it sound weird?

I am not sure either.

Recently, I met someone. He saw me through the deception mask that I put on. For the first time, someone knows how I am feeling without me having to describe it. Someone knows what I am going through without even me realizing it.

He never force me to do stuff, tell him about things nor force the decision out of me. I felt comfortable and free around him. Like I could tell him anything and he would resolve the problems as much as he can. Listening ear. Building my confidence and love for myself.

Meeting him is the good turning point in my life. He taught me how to be strong and express myself better. He makes me want to believe in love again. Believe that there is someone out there who cares about me and treasure me for what I am.

Above all, he gives me a courage. A courage to do the impossible.

I am going to confess to the first guy that I liked on his birthday. More like telling him that I liked him before. Because may be that’s what preventing me from falling again. I realize that some problems in life, ignoring is not the way to solve it. The more you try to ignore, the more it weights in your heart. Sometimes, you just need to gather some strength and face it straight on.

Well, that’s what I am gonna do soon. I have even more courage because I am not expecting his reply. Well, I guess this confession will put an end to my one sided love.

Thanks for giving me courage. You will always be the wonderful friend that I met in my life.

-emo girl signing off


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