Broken

Nothing is permanent. Trust will be broken. Expectations will shatter.

That’s how it is and how it will be.

I am just talking about my group project. Being thrown into unfamiliar group of people. Taken one of the most important part of the project. Just wanting someone to work together with me. As a group. But no one did.

One… Copy and paste the information from the internet expecting me to rephrase it.

Another… Tell me that he is stress but I think he is the best of them since at least he said he will try.

Other two? They are breaking me down. Robbing my motivation away. And draining my moral that was already low. Because someone lied about the progress of his work and act as if he was done. Another just bluntly told me to do the research for her because she cannot find the facts.

Just wow. I am the one who is supposed to compile. The whole report. One think that doing the editing is enough. What am I? A writer? What is she? An editor in charge of me? Another thinks that just doing my slides for me will be enough. No. I want your work to be done. Not my work being done by you.

I didn’t explode. Take it in. Trying to forgot about it. Because I have one more project with same people and I don’t want to tense up the group.

When I see my report, my heart broke into million pieces. I literally cried looking at it because even I can’t comfort myself into believing that it will be okay.

Deadlines is coming up. Next Tuesday. My report in the worst condition.

Being in the randomized group sucks. Because you are with people you don’t really talk to. Undertaking the foreign stuff that you have never done in your life. All you want to do is grabbing onto something familiar yet there is none.

-emo girl signing off

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