Lies. White lies. Terrible lies. Harmless lies.
There are different kind of lies as well as different kind of liars.
Some lie in order to hide something and/or to deceive others.
Sometimes it is to protect someone.
But most of the times, those lies ended up hurting people around them even more.
I am a liar who is good at telling realistic tall tales.
I got so good at it until no one can tell my lies and truth apart anymore.
Not even myself.
It is more like deception become part of me.
Some of them are white lies to protect someone by hiding things away from other people.
Some lies are told in order to make people less hurt by me.
But most of them are made so that I could protect myself from other people.
Exposing my secrets and the feelings that are lurking deep down inside me are not my style.
I get misunderstood easily because of all these layers of lies that I wrap around myself.
More like, I am the one who is building walls around me so that people could not reach me.
To protect myself. To hide my fragile self. To make myself seem tougher.
I think I am lying in order to make me look like my ideal type of people.
Sometimes, I get too used to my lies that I don’t even know which is the real me anymore.
It just make me wonder whether I have this personality or I created this personality for me.
Good liar are those who make others believe in their tales.
In order to do that, they must first believe it themselves.
That’s the most terrible part about being a good liar.
Because you lost your real self in the mountain of the lie that you make.
And yes, I lost my real self.
Because I am a good liar who is constantly lying to herself.